i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
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Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
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When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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