I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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