allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
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I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
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Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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