he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
