No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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