so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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