Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize