I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize