I wish my penis had an off switch
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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