Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
