Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
