I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize