Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
