Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
