you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
