you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize