pop tarts are not kleenex
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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