My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
