My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
