were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
