Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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