# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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