the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
