she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
