hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
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I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just want to make out with him forever
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
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I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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