the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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