he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
