My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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