I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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