"it" just moved
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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