i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
