Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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