fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
