Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
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We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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