I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
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Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
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It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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