Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
