i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize