I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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