i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
