im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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