:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
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Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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