I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize