ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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