Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
