Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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