my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize