Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
