I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
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I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
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We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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