Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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