i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
