roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My vagina is officially offended.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
