Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize