just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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