East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
