you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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