um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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