It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
